The joy on our faces in this picture can barely even describe how we were feeling the moment our daughter was born. But let me tell you, it was not an easy road getting to this moment.
Some of you already know this story, especially those who were there, like my mom and older sister, but I thought I'd share our story for any other moms out there who might be wondering what it's like. Now, everyone's labor and delivery is different and your experience will most likely be different than mine, so don't take my sharing as the hard and fast rule of delivering a baby. I also hope that none of you out there who are wanting kids one day, read this and find it terrifying. It's simply meant to help those who have questions about this whole process.
Okay, I think I've blabbed enough, let's start.
So the majority of my pregnancy was pretty easy on me; I didn't have a whole lot of morning sickness, I wasn't confined to bed rest, and I didn't develop any health issues during it. Aside from the occasional discomfort and pain in my low back, it was wonderful. But by about 38 weeks, I was done. I wanted her out, I wanted to hold her, and I wanted my body back to myself. I wanted to be able to bend over without having to go into weird positions or actually be able to shave my legs.
At that point, I was ready for my pregnancy to be done. And at one point, I even thought it was going to be. I started experiencing contractions (which really just turned out to be stronger Braxton-Hicks) that were different from what I'd been feeling before. So my husband and I decided to walk around our apartment complex a couple times because one of the common things to do is to walk around.
So we're walking...and walking...and walking, all the while I keep getting these contractions off and on. Because this was our first time going through this, we didn't know what to expect next, so we call my mom and have her drive from her house (which was 2 hours away) to be with us.
She gets in a little after midnight and around 2 am, my husband decides we need to go to the hospital based on how often I was having these contractions. So we get there and I'm 1 cm dilated, which I'll tell you is exactly what I was about a week before this at my doctor's appointment. The nurse tells me to walk around some more and so the 3 of us walk around the hospital for about 2 hours and come back. No change. So we get home and it's about 5 in the morning.
Over the next week or so, my mom stayed in town with us and my older sister came down at one point all to try to "walk me into labor". I tried eating semi-spicy food (I wouldn't eat super spicy food, because I don't like it. I know, it's not a popular opinion, but what can I say), I tried using essential oils that they warn you not to use because they can induce labor. It felt like I tried everything.
Well towards the end of your pregnancy, I believe it starts at 35 weeks, they start having you come in for weekly appointments. So, after a week of trying to walk me into labor and still having contractions (that were at this point coming and going in varying degrees of pain--or rather discomfort), I thought that something would have changed and I'd be a little more dilated. But no. No change. Again.
I was starting to get frustrated because it felt like she would never come. I was fast approaching her due date and there was no sign that things would change on their own, or at least in time. So we took a day or two and decided that I was going to be induced.
Of course we prayed that she would come on her before then, but it didn't happen. So on Sunday, April 14th we go into the hospital to have me induced which happened around noon.
For those that don't know, the medicine they give you for induction takes 12 hours for one dose and my doctor thought I would need at least two. Thankfully, she was wrong about that and it only took the one dose to get me dilated to 3 cm by midnight.
Now when you're induced, you're also given pitocin which is supposed to increase the intensity of your contractions. Not a fun drug at all. But, because I wanted to see if I could, I spent about the next 7 hours having contractions without any pain meds.
It was not, by any means, a walk in the park. It was unlike anything I'd every experienced before. I will say it was a different kind of pain than what I was expecting. I was expecting it to be more sharp, like a stab, but it was more like a squeeze. A very intense and painful squeeze.
And I'll remind you that we are now at 7 in the morning on Monday after being admitted to the hospital on Sunday at 11 am. I had gotten no sleep yet and on top of that, I had only gotten 4 hours of sleep Saturday night going into Sunday. I was exhausted, but I knew I still had the hard part of actually pushing.
The nurse came in and said that I was now at 6 cm dilated which I was so pleased to hear. She said that typically at 6 cm, women dilate at 1 cm every hour so in 4 hours I would be ready to push.
Or so we all thought.
When the nurse came in and told us that, I finally asked for an epidural because I wanted to try to get some rest before this next part. It was not an easy decision because I HATE needles, but I was desperate for some relief and some sleep.
The anesthesiologist came in and put the epidural in my back which was super challenging because I had to sit up tall and completely still all while I was still having contractions. Thankfully when he was done, it didn't take long for it to kick in and I couldn't feel the pain of the contractions anymore.
Well I ended up stalling all day Monday at 6 cm. So much for that rule applying to me. But Monday was not all cake and rainbows either now that I had gotten the epidural. My problem was that my contractions were not strong enough to be making any sort of change to move things along. And every time they would try to increase my dose of pitocin, our daughter's heart rate would drop.
There was one point that it dropped so low and stayed there for longer than it should, that about 4 nurses and 1 or 2 doctors were all in the room surrounding me and my bed. (I don't remember much about this part, only what my mom told me while she was there, because I was foggy from the epidural and the lack of sleep.) What I do know is that things were serious enough to put me in an oxygen mask for a while and people were talking about an emergency C-section.
Thankfully her heart rate did come back up and they just didn't raise my pitocin that high anymore. We had a couple scares where her heart rate dropped for a short bit, but that was the scariest one. I don't know personally what that was like for my husband, but I do know that that moment was quite scary for him as well.
Monday goes on and we've hit 11 pm or midnight, when a nurse comes back in to tell me that I'm now at 8 cm dilated. When I heard that, it was like I got a rush of adrenaline and perked right up. We were all a bit surprised, even the nurse, because the contractions I was having didn't look like they were strong enough to do anything, but apparently they were.
A little after 1, Tuesday morning they told me that I was fully dilated and everything was ready to get the doctor to have me start pushing. My older sister showed up at the hospital just before the doctor did. I started pushing at 2:08 and by 2:48, she was born. It seriously felt like 10 min. And because I had just been given a boost of the epidural about an hour before I started pushing, I was numb enough not to feel any pain, but aware enough to know when the contractions were starting so that I could push.
After she was out, we found out why her heart rate kept dropping. My placenta was only attached by about 3 strands and the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck when she came out. I reached to grab her, but the doctor told me she had to get the umbilical cord unwrapped before she could hand her to me.
But man, that feeling of holding your baby in your arms, like actually seeing them and knowing that they were growing inside of you for the past 9 months...it's a crazy, beautiful, wonderful feeling. And even if I had to go through everything the same again, I'd do it in a heartbeat to be able to hold my baby in my arms.